Hi mama, how are you doing? If you have recently been diagnosed with a mental health illness, first of all I am so sorry, I see you.. trying so hard to keep it together, to move through this. It’s exhausting, it’s difficult and it’s lonely. Even if it’s been awhile, you may find some useful information here.
First, take a deep breath. I know this feels heavy, like a thousand-pound weight pressing on your chest, suffocating while being asked for snack, a ride to town or where someones homework is. In this moment everything feels too hard, too chaotic, to blinding.. but let me tell you: It will be okay, you can get through this hard part of the unknown, and get yourself help. Because being diagnosed with a mental health illness can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even isolating. It’ll have you questioning everything.
It won’t always feel like this. I know because I’ve been there, stuck in the whirlwind of emotions after a major depressive episode, waiting for the next one. Honestly, it felt like the world had turned upside down, and I didn’t want to believe there was “something wrong” with me. But here’s the truth: there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just navigating a difficult season, and with the right tools and support, you will get through it.
It’s not going to be easy, but I promise, it’s worth it. You’re worth it. And I’m here to walk with you through the first steps of your journey.
Before we dive in, I just want to remind you what a beautiful person you are, inside and out, and just because you have a mental health illness does not change that.
It doesn’t mean you are any less, that you deserve less or that you should life a life filled with sadness and heartache. You deserve a big, beautiful life. And I truly believe that.
1. Breathe
Seriously! Take a few deep, slow breaths. This diagnosis doesn’t define you. It’s just a piece of your story, and stories evolve. Inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for six. Do it again. Let’s ground ourselves before moving forward.
2. Book an Appointment with a Psychiatrist or Specialist
Your diagnosis is just the starting point. A follow-up appointment with a mental health professional will help you build a game plan tailored to your specific needs. And don’t just put it on your to -do list, actually schedule this appointment. I know how it goes. This one step alone will greatly increase your happiness and get you on track.
3. Decide Whether to Explore Medication
This is a deeply personal choice. It’s okay to feel uncertain, but know that medication can be a helpful tool for many people, and it’s okay to be on meds. I don’t know why we’ve gotten to the point where we will just avoid meds all together, just to not take anything. I was this way, but getting on medication for the things I struggle with changing my life completely.
4. Research, but Set Boundaries
Google can be your best friend and your worst enemy. Research your diagnosis and potential treatments, but avoid spiraling into worst-case scenarios, this includes going down the rabbit hole in TikTok ladies.
5. Journal Your Thoughts
Grab a notebook and let it all out. All your fears, questions, emotions, and even your wins.
6. Educate Yourself with Books and Resources
Find books, podcasts, and articles about your diagnosis. Knowledge is power, and the more you understand what’s happening, the more empowered you’ll feel. This also includes finding people who share your story or your journey, once you step out there you will be amazed at all the other people who are just like you.
7. Accept the Diagnosis (Even If It’s Hard)
This is one of the hardest steps, believe me. It sucks. I didn’t want to accept anything but did that do me any good? No, it really didn’t. When you accept it, you take one step forward, it doesn’t mean giving up or giving in, it just means coming to peace with who you are and how you are made.
8. Build Your Support System
This is another super important step- open up to those closest to you, but choose wisely. Whether it’s your partner, a trusted friend, or a family member, sharing your struggles creates connection and builds a safety net for when you need support. But also keep in mind, there will be people who judge you, people who make you feel small… it’s okay to put some boundaries around them.
9. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
As moms, we often feel like we have to juggle it all, but you don’t. Ask for help with the kids, the house, or even just a listening ear. It takes a village, and that’s okay!
10. Be Patient with the Process
Girl, remember this.. healing isn’t linear, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Everyone is different, meds take time to work, therapy takes time, everything that you are doing is so great but you have to be patient. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate trial-and-error with treatments, therapies, and coping mechanisms. Give yourself grace.
11. Track Your Moods and Symptoms
Use a journal or an app to keep a record of how you’re feeling, this can really help when you are getting ready to talk to your doctor or therapist or you just want to see what’s happening and when.
12. Identify Triggers and Stressors
Take note of situations, people, or environments that heighten your anxiety or bring on depressive episodes, it will most likely not surprise you who or what these are. Awareness is the first step toward making adjustments to protect your peace.
13. Join a Support Group
Connecting with others who understand your struggles can be incredibly healing. Whether in-person or online, support groups remind you that you’re not alone. Again, like I say.. women need other women.. and this includes for help with our mental health struggles.
14. Get Outside Daily
Even just five minutes of sunshine and fresh air can boost your mood. Step outside, take a walk, or sit on your porch with a warm cup of tea. As someone who loves being inside, this is a hard one but it truly does make a difference.
15. Practice Mindfulness Techniques
Deep breathing, meditation, or even just a moment of stillness can help calm your mind. Start small, one or two minutes a day, and work your way up. We have tips, let us know if you need help.
16. Prioritize Sleep
Sleep is SO important for your mental health. I know life as a mama is hard, so just do the best you can. If you’re struggling with insomnia or poor sleep, talk to your doctor and explore routines or tools that might help. There are some pretty cool apps out there that help, but also just prioritizing this and trying your best to set a bed time will work wonders.
17. Set Boundaries
Whether it’s with work, social commitments, or certain relationships, boundaries are a form of self-care. Protect your energy at all costs.
18. Make Self-Care Non-Negotiable
Self-care doesn’t have to mean bubble baths (although, yes, please!). It’s about prioritizing activities that recharge you, whether that’s journaling, exercising, or simply saying “no” when you need to.
19. Cut Back on Caffeine and Alcohol
We all know that both can exacerbate anxiety and disrupt sleep. It’s worth experimenting with cutting back and noticing how your body responds. Even just a little test. Honestly, I need caffeine but I can do without the alcohol.
20. Create a Mental Health Plan
Write down your triggers, coping strategies, and a list of people you can reach out to when you’re struggling, keep this someone you can easily find it. This is something you can refer to when you start to feel that depression creep in, you feel manic or just really off.
21. Explore Talk Therapy
A licensed therapist can provide tools, strategies, and a safe space to process your emotions. Therapy is a game-changer for so many, and honestly I tell everyone to go to therapy. Even if you have nothing going on (although we all do really), therapy is so good for you.
22. Don’t Isolate Yourself
When you’re feeling low, it’s tempting to withdraw from the world. Believe me! But doing this can make everything so much worse, if you are feeling depressed the best thing to do is reach out to a family member, friend- someone in your protector circle and just let them know what’s going on. Then reach out to your doctor if you need to, followed by reviewing your mental health plan above.
Mama, you are not alone in this.
Your diagnosis doesn’t define you, please please remember this. It’s just one part of your journey. Wishing you strength, peace, and healing as you move forward.
I am not a doctor, please do not do anything you feel uncomfortable with, try something new.. without consulting your doctor.
Christina Boyer is a writer, creative strategist, and co-founder of The Wildflower Society. A multi-passionate mom of four living in the Pacific Northwest, she’s deeply obsessed with helping women come home to themselves, and then go after what they really want. Her work lives at the intersection of storytelling, healing, and soul-aligned strategy, with a side of iced coffee
