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40 Lessons I Lived By Before Turning 40

To most, turning 40 is a big deal: a time to celebrate, a time to rejoice, and a time to reflect.

As I sat one morning, coffee in hand, only a few days away from my 40th birthday, I found myself thinking about everything I had learned and accomplished over the past decade.

My 20s were for making mistakes, trying new things, and learning. My 30s were a time of truly getting to know myself, a time to heal, to take the lessons I had learned in my 20s, and to begin becoming the woman I wanted to be.

Here are the top 40 lessons I lived by as I stepped into my 40s:

1–10: On Living Authentically

  1. Living your best, most authentic life is the best revenge.
  2. Pursue the dreams that scare you. They give the biggest rewards, lessons, and results.
  3. Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from.
  4. Being respected and valued is waaayyyy more important than being liked.
  5. Do not outsource your praise. praise yourself all the time, every day.
  6. There is no perfect time; just do it.
  7. Healing is optional, but accountability is not: while childhood is not our fault, adulthood is our responsibility.
  8. Confidence has nothing to do with looks, it comes from knowing your value and worth.
  9. Say “fuck” more.
  10. You can do hard, scary things.

11–20: On Relationships & People

  1. Tell people you love them- and often.
  2. Compliment strangers.
  3. No one is going to be selfish for you, prioritize your needs.
  4. For God’s sake, use sunscreen.
  5. Your life is a reflection of what you’ve allowed and tolerated.
  6. Celebrate everything.
  7. No action can be just as impactful as taking action.
  8. Hustle culture is hollow and toxic.
  9. Sometimes your help will hinder others.
  10. Your job will never hold you in the hard times, it’s just a job.

21–30: On Boundaries & Self-Worth

  1. Create a community of supportive women and invest in those relationships.
  2. No one cares who you were in high school or college… like, really, no one.
  3. Stop saying sorry when you’re not really sorry.
  4. Replace “sorry” with “thank you” (instead of “Sorry I’m late”.. say, “Thank you for waiting for me”).
  5. Peace is more important than happiness.
  6. Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business, people are gonna talk, who cares.
  7. Define what success looks like to you, not to others.
  8. The length of a relationship doesn’t equal its quality.
  9. Let people leave, if they don’t want you, you don’t need them.
  10. Access to you is a privilege, time is your most valuable and finite resource, and not everyone deserves it.

31–40: On Perspective & Joy

  1. Having control over everything is above your pay grade.
  2. Worrying doesn’t change anything.
  3. When faced with a difficult time or situation, ask: “Is this worth my peace?”.. most of the time, the answer is no.
  4. You are not in competition with anyone.
  5. Words are powerful and cannot be taken back.
  6. Take time to appreciate the beauty all around you.
  7. Treat yourself.
  8. Take up space, be heard, and be the most authentic you.
  9. When people show you who they are, believe them.
  10. Romanticize the day-to-day small things. You never know when it will be the last time you do them.

Final Thoughts

If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that your life will always reflect what you choose to give energy to. Protect your peace. Live unapologetically. Love fiercely. And never stop noticing the little moments, they’re the ones you’ll miss the most.

Miria Svoboda Co-founder The Wildflower Society Intuitive Healer – Metaphysical Guide – Certified Sound Practitioner “Inspiring transformation through connection, creativity and self discovery”.

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